Men love to wait...

Why is it that men want to have sex all the time but when it comes to a relationship the longer they are made to wait the more they'll commit?

What is this seriously?

You sleep with them too soon or straight away and they'll act like everything's fine then suddenly they decide you were too easy ever be serious with you.

I understand the principle but Jesus I hate the way that these flawed beings work.

And while it's all nice and traditional waiting to have sex. Some of us just can't. We like you, we'll have sex. Then we're too easy? I'm sorry I'm sure there were two of us in this bed. So why is it you get to dictate if we'll be suitable for a relationship.

I'll admit it's my flaw, I never make a guy wait and I should. I just can't. I'll try in the future because I'm sick of men leaving after, this is on the very rare occasion I want a relationship with someone.

But for you if you want to sneer that guy play the waiting game.

If he is willing to wait in any sense, he is willing to wait for sex.

If he is willing to wait for sex, he can wait as long as you can see fit.

I have a guy after me who's been wanting to have sex with me for almost 6 years, the timing has never been right. But if he can wait 5 years, he can wait another day, then another day and another day.

I send him messages every now and again to keep him interested. I know he'll be there when I need to use him for sex and sex alone. It's been established that there is no other intention than just sex.

And from what I've been promised the waiting will be worth of our while.

It'll make him appreciate it whether or not he just wants sex or not. It the difference between him thinking of you as a one night stand or relationship material.

Making a guy wait will also force him to have an emotional connection with you and will in turn make him respect you. Guys get bored of there is no chase involved. Just think of yourself like a mouse and you keep wiggling yourself in front of the cat then running back into you little mouse hole till you're ready to sneak out again.

I will always have this guy waiting till I am ready to use him, and it can be the worst sex ever and he will think its the best because he has waited that long.

Say you've got him waiting now, the kisses on the doorstop have got a bit heated and he's asking to come in just for a little bit or a coffee...

NO!

Until you're ready or think it's time... Don't.

Because although he may seem honourable he won't be he wants it and he'll say whatever he has to to have sex.

In part two I'll explain techniques to help with this.

Welcome to Sex in Leeds...

I never liked sex and the city growing up, it wasn't till a month ago. I thought it was for girly girls who were desperate to find a relationship.
I watched a couple of episodes and I was that hooked, I bought the entire box-set and both films on sky movies. Ironic I know that a complete tomboy would love something so girly.


But really it isn't. It the modern day woman but with an optimistic outcome. I could relate to all of the characters except from Charlotte. I'm more of a Samantha with a little bit of Carrie. I think every girl would love to be a care-free Samantha.


So I guess your wondering why I started this blog in the first place. I have never wanted to go into journalism, it's after my most recent 'relationship' I thought I'd educate both men and women about how most women think... well mainly men.


Why is it the majority of men are not willing to accept that women can be as blasé as men?
Why can't women just want casual sex like men without them thinking we have a hidden agenda?
Why is it that men think we want certain things from relationships?
What are men really thinking?
Why is he ignoring me?
What have I done wrong?

Basically this blog will be sharing my experiences with men.
My many failings and successes, my regrets and triumphs.

If it gets off the ground fine, if not I'm not bothered. My main aim is so women like me or who have been through similar experiences don't feel like their completely on their own like I have, going out of my mind with worry wondering what it is I have said or done wrong to loose that guy we all thought was the one or the one for the mean time. 

And so men can find out what women think, act like, want...ect.

I am not talking for every girl, I am just speaking from experience. A more realistic version of Sex and The City if you will.


So what gives me a better perspective than most women you have heard from?


Like Carrie from Sex and The City I have had my fair share of bad relationships and one night stands, what most of them lately haven't realised is that I have been trying different techniques to be able to write this blog and get a better perspective. I am willing to get knowledge from bad experiences to share them, because like most girls at one point in my life I have gone to the internet for advice, ad I guess many people have. Also I have mainly male friends, am a tomboy and slightly bi sexual, so I have and can get that knowledge most girls are dying to find out.

Here's my story...

The Truth About One Night Stands...

Although most of us aren't willing to admit they have had a one night stand 90% of Great Britain has had a one night stand. Male or female, it doesn't matter.

We all may not be willing to share but behind the comfort of those cosy computer screens we have all at least once wrote into google:

'How to turn a one night stand into a relationship',
'I had a one night stand how do I get rid of them easily'
or something STD related.

Trust me I have searched pretty much all of them, and all you get is forums with people voicing their opinion with no experience. I have been in all of those situations plenty of times.

If I'm honest I'm a bit of a one night stand addict. I wish I wasn't and one day no doubt I'll find someone that wont mind I'm so trusting or I'll have to go to therapy... shit happens.

So...

You've had a one night stand and can't remember it or if you used a condom?

1. Get booked into your local clinic... not hard and any self respecting girl should know where to get tested.
Even when I'm not in a relationship I will still get tested every 3 months to make sure, or even if I haven't got laid in a year I still will.

2. That clinic can get you sorted within a month tops, unless its something more serious.

3. You can't remember it? You can do two things (or both)... Have a cry and put yourself down or you can pull up your big girl pants and decided if getting that drunk was worth never remembering what you've done.


Situation 2:

You aren't on contraception:

1: Boots... need I say more, (if I do... Pharmacist as long as your under 25, emergency contraception).

2: Get yourself on some contraception even if you're not planning on seeing anyone anytime soon.


So you've slept with him because he's spouted you some bullshit about how much he likes you and you wont be a one night stand... 1 out of probably 100 have actually meant it, most men say it just to get in your pants and make you think they're honest and they wont leave you hanging after..


They will,don't believe them one bit. Even if they are being honest.
If you sleep with the guy pretty soon, it's all lies.
I've had guys say:

'You'll never be a one night stand!'
'I don't believe in one night stands!'
'I want a relationship!'
'I like you!'
'How can you think that?'

or they just plain convince you...

I've even had one lately say they want a relationship when I clearly pointed out I wasn't relationship material or even wanted a relationship said 'want to get serious and be committed to each other' the first time we had sex and then completely delete me out of his life... to be honest he was one of my experiment relationship that I will get on to later. But the rule is:

1: Don't believe a word they say, even if they are being genuine. If you sleep with them too soon their is no going back. (with the exception of being a booty call).

2: You'll kid yourself he's different and it meant something... No. You give it up too quickly he's already made his mind up no matter how nice you or he is. You are too easy.

The only way you can rectify this is to move on and pretend like you're not bothered no matter how
much you are and how difficult everyday is wondering if you'll ever hear from him again. And even if you do and you think he might be different... he's not he's just keeping you around as a just in case. Which on a plus side mean you were good enough in between the sheets that'll he'll use you again but not good for you if you think he cares.


There's the subject not a lot of girls deal with but there still will be the rare few out there that will have this situation:

'I had a one night stand and now I cant get rid of them'

... I am so guilty of this, because I feel horrible getting rid of guys, no matter how much they repulse me or I don't get on with them after it.

My worst was my friend... I wont mention his name as we are still friends but he pestered me for months on end afterwards and will still come running after one text.

That is how you'll have to deal with one of these guys if they are hooked on you but its very very rarely.

I ignored him for months on end deleted him and he still wanted to be a part of my life so  I said we could be friends and he still tries it on and I have to just be firm and say no. In other circumstances that could turn ugly but I am lucky.

The last guy I was sleeping with wanted a relationship straight off before we knew each other and pretty much moved in with me, and it freaked me out being a complete commitment-phobe.
I am not proud of this but I pretended to be everything I wasn't, a sex freak, movie scene crazy ex and blasé slut.

It worked the day after he left me be and I haven't heard anything since. I don't do break ups well at the best of times, someone' always hurt. At least this way he keeps his ego intact and thinks he broke up with me. This is very rarely I will ever do this and I do not suggest this. But this is because he lives above me and I couldn't get him out of my flat and I needed to have my independence with me having another casual relationship going on that could give me more.

1: You either be honest.

or

2: Tell an outrageous lie.

if all fails use the critical technique above. (can at a later date put more detail into what I did).

Any questions you have or anything you think I should add let me know.

and at the end of the day, unless you can definitely be completely detached (practise) you'll be in one of these 3 situations.

Happy Hunting...